Several Inches of pleasure

Inchgower must be one of the most underrated of all malts. It is not difficult to purchase from online sources but not much seems to be made of this joy of a whisky though I have yet to taste a mediocre dram from this distillery. Independent bottlings seem to make up most of its available public presence. As most of it goes into Bells, not much more that 1% actually makes it to a single malt. The first time I encountered it though was via the Flora and Fauna bottling released by its owner Diageo. Bottled at a 'low' 43% it was nevertheless a fine dram with a long slightly salty finish that seemed to bungee back to the tongue after you thought it was all over.

From there, things moved onto a 11yo single cask bottling from Cadenheads which came in at a healthy 61%. A fruity nose with some salt gives way to a creamy palate before finishing like salty throat pastilles.

There was no way I was gonna fork out £250 odd for Diageo's 'Manager's Choice' offering. However, thanks to a Jolly Toper tasting in Edinburgh, I got the chance to try this expensive wee gem. Superb stuff indeed. But was it any better than the Cadenhead's one at £40ish?

The Bladnoch Forum bottlings were always excellent value for money and the 28yo from hogshead 6965 at 50.4% didn't disappoint. Great nose - like spilling mango smoothie on a machair meadow. Another reviewer thought the palate was like eating lemon meringue pie with a metal spoon. I'd go with that but replace the metal spoon with a dollop of molasses. The finish is smooth like a lemony Baileys. Very tasty.

Bladnoch as previously mentioned was kickstarted by Raymond Armstrong. Now, his son is in on the business and sells a few casks and bottles under the name of Whisky Broker. He seems to be continuing the trade in good value but good quality whisky if his Inchgower 36yo  for a mere £50 is anything to go by. Other 36yo bottlings from the same batch go for between £75 and £115. This one is from hogshead 7756 and was distilled way back in 1974. A review of a 'sister cask' isn't far of the mark for this one either. Here the nose is a mixture of lemon and honey. Palate is very smooth but light and citrus with some metallic notes and yon Inchgower salt. Finish is medium to long with some grass and brown sugar.

The only Inchgower that I haven't been that impressed with was the Scotch Malt Whisky Society's 'Hippie Dram' and that's probably because of the high benchmark set by other bottlings.

Inchgower is an intruiging dram that rarely disappoints and one that I look forward to tasting a lot of in the future. Lastly, here are some interesting articles which give more background to the distillery and status of this whisky:

Loch Fyne Whiskies Stocks Inchgower Dewar Rattray 1974 36yo - Scotch Whisky News

Distillery Profile at Malt Madness

For Scotch Lovers

1887 account by Alfred Barnard

Dalwhinnie - the peak of disappointment

Leaving Srath Spè and heading south we stop for a break at the Ralia cafe. It turns out to be a wee whisky haven with several shelves of miniatures. It has quite a serious selection - everything from the usual Laphroaig, Glenfiddich to lesser seen specimens like Benriach, including their peaty ones. I opt for a mini from the defunct Dumbarton distillery, Littlemill. It turns out to be a wee honeyed joy. I find out that it rarely garnered good reviews in its hey-day. Shame as i enjoyed it and while i wasn't overwhelmed, I'd still rather that Littlemill was still with us.

However, it's onto another Diageo giant. It's a part of the country i know reasonably well. Dalwhinnie used to be a major rest-stop for many travellers on the road north or as i did, on past Loch Lagan and Creag Meagaidh towards Skye . Hell, its bleak though and now even the hotel and cafe seem to have gone the same way as Littlemill.

As to the distillery, well, there's not much you can say. Nice setting, good enough whisky but it fits very snugly into Diageo's pristine new world. We get the standard tour with little to really stimulate our interest. Dalwhinnie apparently loses less to the angel's share due the high altitude and the sub-Arctic situation of the local environment. Very good, except that most Dalwhinnie is most likely matured in the somewhat less mountainous and romantic environs of Alloa where several football pitch sized warehouses lie at Diageo's Blackgrange site.

Like it's Diageo cousin down the road in Blair Athol, visitors are allowed a safety-conscious view of one warehouse through a pane of glass. Spirits - ho-ho - are raised when a bottle of new make spirit is produced. However, it's not for tasting and only for rubbing on our hands. Are they scared of swine-flu or something?

The tour ends with a thimble sized 'dram' in the new visitor centre. All in all, the distillery and its staff were friendly and welcoming enough but everything is just too sterile and choreographed. Unfortunately, it would seem that booking onto a 'connoisseur' tour will only entitle you to sample a greater selection of Diageo brands rather than an in-depth tasting from the cask. Perhaps they have something to learn from the aforementioned GlenDronach.

I have since read though that a new manager intends to restore some independent character to Dalwhinnie. Good luck to him.

Doric drams - Ardmore, Glen Garioch and Glendronach

The journey continues and as we get further into Aberdeenshire, the landscape flattens out. Its kind of pleasant but not exactly dramatic. To call it 'Highland' is akin to comparing Glenkinchie in East Lothian to Sgurr nan Gillean. Nevertheless, Ardmore, Glen Garioch and Glendronach are all Highland malts and they are somewhere to be found in the maze of roads on our map - a spaghetti junction compared to the simplicity of the Braemar highways and byways.

We eventually find Ardmore in the sleepy, and probably 'close-knit' village of Kennethmont. The distillery is certainly tightly knit as far as visitors are concerned. Not a soul is to be seen and phone calls and emails from my business-frau partner went unanswered. You can certainly smell the activity on the breeze though and we counted at least 22 maturation sheds on one side of the road. Shame it is closed to whisky tourists as we would've liked a deek at the source of this interesting dram. One of the best drams I've had was a heavily peated Ardmore at the SMWS which went under the title of 'I can't believe its not Islay'. We later learn that a visitor centre is currently being constructed at Ardmore.

We then have to ask directions to Glen Garioch at a friendly bakers in Insch. Aberdeenshire is the source of the oldest written Scots Gaelic but today the lingo of the proles and peasantry is Doric or at least heavily accented Scots English. Whatever, its a pleasure to hear. For some reason though, Garioch is pronounce 'geerie'.

We find Glen Garioch tucked behind rows of houses and narrow streets in the town of Old Meldrum. Indeed, 'Distillery Road' passes through the complex. Garioch is owned by the same people who run Bowmore and Auchentoshan. Whoever they are, the people we meet here are warm and friendly. They're also whisky enthusiasts and not just tolerant sales people/ tourist guides. We don't get to see the warehouses unfortunately and anyway, like many distilleries, most of the product is shipped off elsewhere to mature. We do get to taste the Garioch 12yo and Reserve. Unfortunately, there's a heavy oak undercurrent in both expressions which puts me off the dram a little. On the plus side, they're both bottled at 48% and are unchillfiltered. I'd love to try one straight from the cask. A great welcome was had here and i hope Garioch goes from strength to strength.

It's not far to Glen Dronach. The distillery has a kind of 60s factory appearance, a bit like Caol Ila. They're expecting us and we're quickly ushered onto a tour that's already underway. The guide is a local lass - mare Doric tongue - with an obvious love for whisky and good sense of humour. The tour is detailed and informative though the only glimpse of any casks is through a Diageo-style window in the shop/ dramming room. Another two locals are on the tour and the craic is great though getting 3 or 4 drams to sample certainly helps to break the ice. Again, this East Highland oakiness is present in GD though i certainly like the Grand Cru expression which was released especially for the Danish market.

Of particular interest to my partner in dramming is the chance for visiting whisky tourists to go on the 'connoisseurs' tour. This involves been taken around by the ex-distillery manager of 40 years experience and getting 6 drams, some drawn straight from the cask. Looks like a return is on the cards. GD is owned by BenRiach and several of the BR range are on offer here too.

We aim to hit Cragganmore on the way to our next bed in Nethy Bridge but we are disappointed to find that this Diageo distillery shuts its door at 4. Never mind, we stand around gawking at the collapsed warehouse/ shed which seems to have flattened one car and damaged a forklift too. Meanwhile, I'm still breathing Glen Dronach.

Onwards to Dark and Royal Lochnagar

Leaving Pitlochry behind, we continue onwards towards Braemar. This takes us through Highland Perthshire and Aberdeenshire with some amazing landscapes. This is Scotland at its best - distillery tours, glorious scenery and April sunshine. A stunning clash of ancient environment and and an auld culture, though both have been scarred. The Braemar region is where the last speakers of Aberdeenshire Gaelic were recorded in the 1980s and the indigenous tongue has left her footprints everywhere here.

Today though, this republican Gael and East German child of the DDR are heading to Royal Lochnagar, one of crown jewels of the Kingdom of Diageo. This is a small distillery and neither of us have visited it before nor tasted the malt. Iain Banks praises the place in his book Raw Spirit and sure enough, it's a cute and almost perfect distillery. You could imagine a Saxe-Coburg wife or Phil the Greek using the place as their local when on holiday.

We expect another well manicured and impeccably safe Diageo clone-distillery. Expectations sink further when we are greeted by a rather stiff lady with a royal accent and grey Thatcher style bouffant helmet. We guess that for women of a certain age in Royal Deeside, this is the height of cool. We don't flee but persist in our quest. The tour however is pretty good and we get an informative look at almost all aspects of production, including an aerial view into their open mash tun.

In Dutyfree Warehouse 1, there is a selection of casks from each of the Diageo family of distilleries. Our mouths water as we eye a cask of Lagavulin. Unfortunately, we are not invited to 'get intae them' but are allowed a sniff of Lochnagar from the cask. Apparently, there is a large group of Diageo employees visiting Lochnagar on the malt advocate course and the casks are there to further their tutelage in the art of tasting and blending. Its strictly off-bounds to even the local employees, nevermind eager visitors.

The free dram of Royal Lochnagar 10yo at the end is a good one. We get the opportunity to compare it to some spirit and are talked through the flavours. We are told that there is no cask strength available to buy and very little ever makes it to independent bottlers. However, we spy a self-bottled RL at 46% in the nearby George Strachan grocery in Braemar. On return to Auld Reekie, we are delighted to discover that the proles in Cadenheads had liberated a cask and were selling of bottles of the RL single-cask 12yo at 58% for a very reasonable price to any horny-handed son of toil who wished one. Excellent stuff.

We retire to our hostel, dreaming of a whisky republic.